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We like to throw around the terms "gossip" for women and "shop talk" for men. As if there were a difference. We generalize (mostly everything) and try to put each other in neat little boxes that we can keep filed away in our brains. This is much easier than thinking things through every time. Easier than realizing everything is way too complex to be so simplified. And organized.       What's funny is while women are said to chit chat about celebrity gossip — or who's doing what (um, or whom), what's she wearing, how much did those ridiculous heels cost, etc., men are guilty of the same. I mean, have you ever heard a man talk about fantasy sports (the key word being “fantasy”)? Guys will gripe about so-and-so's RBI's or how that famous ball player got accused of date rape. You see, it's all the same thing.       The point is we are all so much more alike than we pretend. We seem to enjoy pointing out the differences, but they are merely different forms of the same thing.       Whether it's A-Rod's divorce scandal, Tony Romo's romantic trysts, or the debate over Cameron Diaz's nose job, we're all relating the same way. About the same things.... Or maybe I just like to gossip.... Contributed by Jocelyn Brady, a writer in Portland, Oregon. (E-mail: bradyjocelyn@gmail.com)
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As a child, growing up in Florida, the ice cream truck was a big deal for me. For some strange reason though, I never could seem to catch it when it came to our neighborhood.       Miles away, you could hear the music getting louder and louder. I would run through the house, checking in the couch and behind all the dressers, looking for change...       Finally I would scrounge together just enough change to get my favorite, a cherry twin pop, but then .... Just as I ran out to get my Popsicle, the ice cream man was parked at the next door neighbor's house and already inside. I would sit and wait for what felt like an eternity, until finally giving up.       I never could understand what that old ice cream man was doing all that time at our neighbor's house every day. I mean, really — the lady who lived there didn't act like she knew the ice cream man when her husband was home!       Sad thing is, it wasn't until I was a grown adult with children of my own, that I finally realized it was her "friendship" that was keeping me from getting my twin pops! Contributed by Cindy Pagan.
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I made a mistake at work by adding permissions for a project administrator for one project, based on the assumption that it was all right because he was a project administrator on several other projects.       Our system administrator caught the unauthorized add and removed the permissions (but not before the user had completed some transactions), very strongly explaining that procedures should have been followed.      "Things were busy," I said. "I rushed when I should have been more careful, and that's why it was done wrong."       He replied, "If you don't have the time to do it right, you really don't have the time to do it wrong and then fix it."      And now, as a result, I get to handle the audit AND make all the corrections found! Contributed by Texan Tamara Wilhite (E-mail: sirat@wilhite.homeip.net), who has a new horror anthology out (co-written with David Byron), called "Genres.” It’s available on Lulu.com and Amazon.com.
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It seems like time keeps moving faster as I get older. I remember when I was a kid summer seemed to last forever. Now I find myself saying things like, “I can’t believe it’s the Fourth of July already!” or “Was that really ten years ago?!”       Why does this happen?       Here’s my theory.       When you drive someplace you’ve never been before, it seems like it takes a long time to get there. That’s because it’s a new and unfamiliar trip, so you have to pay attention to what you’re doing. On the way home, you know where you’re going so you start thinking about other things — what’s for dinner, the price of gas, what a jerk your boss was at that job you had ten years ago, etc. You’re not focusing so much on the driving, and the trip home seems to go much quicker.       That’s basically how my life is. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve experienced more things, so there’s less that’s new to me. At the same time, I’ve accumulated worries, memories, ideas, etc. As I go through my daily routine, my mind focuses more on those things rather than on the routine. As a result, the days, weeks, months seem to go by quickly.       This theory had me a little worried because time seems to be moving quickly right now, and if it keeps on moving faster and faster as I get older, it might all just pass me by! One option is to be more Zen-like and empty my mind of these distracting thoughts and focus on the present moment, but that's easier said than done, especially since my 19-month-old son, while a great source of love and happiness, is also a constant source of worry.       For example, when we go to the pool, I have to worry about whether he’ll fall and hit his head, whether he’s being nice to other kids, whether they are being nice to him, what he is putting in his mouth, where did his plastic dinosaur go, etc. It’s hard to relax and enjoy myself under these conditions.       My other option is to amend my theory: time keeps going faster only up to a point. When we hit our “golden years,” time slows down again and it’s all the more precious because you can actually appreciate the re-discovered slowness of time.       Here’s hoping! Contributed by Paul Buono of Maryland.
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If there were no religions, what kind of principle would we use? Most people say Greek or Chinese wisdom should be the main alternative, but for me I would choose American Style because it provides McDonalds and Pepsi! Contributed by Stevano None, a writer in Indonesia (e-mail: stovena@telkom.net), who says that he is “laughing till the end of my lip.” [!?]
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